Everything Has Changed (Matthew)

It had only been a week, and Ari had never been more happy than she was now. Since they had kissed, Ari and Matthew took their relationship to the next level, and it was frightening as hell. At first it was a tad awkward. They didn't know what to do, but as a few days passed, they quickly figured it out. Ari tried explaining to Matthew that the only difference in their relationship was that they held hands, and maybe gave each other a peck on the lips every once in a while, and he might have to be romantic with her only sometimes. Ari loved this. She had never felt more complete in her short life. She knew he would never leave her ever again. And that meant the world to her. He was the most important person in her life, and she now knew she was his, well next to Ollie of course, but she wouldn't dare get in between brotherly love.

She thought it would be fun to surprise him with food in the Astronomy tower for lunch one cool November Saturday. She had sent him an Owl to meet her there at noon. She had set up a blanket, and had gotten the house elves to make them all their favorites. It was pretty perfect. She had asked Professor Gracen if she could use the tower for the afternoon, and she graciously allowed her. Today she decided to look nice for him for once. She was tired of wearing her school uniform, and her usual attire, so she went with her long dark green sweater that went well with her red hair, leggings, and black boots. She pulled her hair into a messy bun, and called it good.

She graciously sat on her blanket, and had gotten pillows and thrown them around. She hoped this would be a fun time, and they could just talk about random things like they usually did when they where just friends! She suddenly got nervous. What if it got awkward? What if she froze up and didn't know what to talk about and made a complete fool of herself? She suddenly began to wonder when she started to think about what Matthew thought about her. She never did before. And now she was second guessing everything. What if she had ruined everything by just a simple kiss? What if this backfired? What if she lost the most important person in her life?

Whatever this was, it had better be good. Primarily because Matthew was skipping lunch for it. And lunch was a pretty important meal – otherwise, you ate nothing for hours between breakfast and dinner, which sucked. So when Matthew had read Ari’s note to meet her at noon, he’d been skeptical of the chance that whatever she had planned was better than eating lunch. But he knew that it didn’t matter – that he’d go – because it was Ari. And ever since the day after the game, you’d be hard pressed to find him without her. He hadn’t seen her all morning, and it was hopeless to think that he could ignore her request now. Because now that he’d stopped denying everything, he really did like being with her. The first few days had felt a bit unnatural – mostly because Matthew had no idea what he wanted to do, let alone what he was allowed to do. So he just tried to pay attention to what Ari seemed to want, because it was easier.

And she wanted him to meet her in the astronomy tower, so there he was. Matthew bounded up the last few stairs, finally reaching the top, and had to hesitate by the stairs to catch his breath. Which gave him time to take in what Ari had set up – she was already there, sitting on a blanket, and it looked like she didn’t plan on skipping lunch. ”Hey!” he said brightly, his mood renewed by the fact that she was surrounded by food. ”Thank Merlin, I thought you were making me skip lunch,” he told her a bit breathlessly as he crossed the room and plopped down on the blanket beside her. ”Is this what you were doing all morning? Well, you had it better than me,” Matthew told her, grinning. ”I was working on the defense project with Arwen – which, Arwen is great, of course, but doing homework on a Saturday is not.”

This was the part that Matthew wasn’t good at. Talking was easy, which kept it from getting awkward, but he just wasn’t really sure what to do. Now that he’d sat down, was he supposed to put an arm around her? Or just not touch her and start eating. Or kiss her? The thing was, since that day, Matthew kind of always wanted to kiss her, because it was way more pleasant than he’d imagined it. So he always wanted to, but he never knew how, so he usually didn’t. Because what was he supposed to do, just lean over and kiss her? It wasn’t nearly as easy as it looked in the movies, because he never knew if he was supposed to or if she wanted him to or how to even start. Usually, Ari would be the one to scoot close to him, or grab his hand, or make what she wanted completely obvious. So, like usual, he just kept talking. ”We’re playing Gryffindor this weekend you know, we’re bound to win this time around at least.” he told her. ”I’m not gonna have to carry your drunken self back to the castle again, am I?” he added, laughing.

Ari new that Matthew was getting used to his new role in her life, but the least he could've done was kiss her "hello" when he came into the room...Ari would let that one slide, and let him know for future reference later. As he sat down, she started getting out all the food. She said, "I would never make you miss lunch. I would never miss lunch!" She laughed a little bit. She truly was happy. That much she knew. But she was still embarrassed about the other night. This was somewhat sort of an " I'm sorry" type thing. She knew the one way to get to Matthew was to his stomach. When he started going on about Quidditch, Ari smiled. She still didn't fully remember that night, and part of her didn't WANT to know what happened. Talking to Arwen, she knew it was bad. Talking to Matthew, she knew it was bad.

So when he brought up her drunken self from the last Quidditch match, Ari wasn't sure whether to break down in tears, or laugh along with him. She said, "I promise you that WILL NOT happen again. I was stupid and didn't know what I was doing half the time." She looked at him with pleading eyes. She knew he had forgiven him, but she still hadn't forgiven herself. And that part worried her. If she were to do stupid mistakes in the future, she was now scared that she would be really hard on herself, and push herself to do more. She was now at the breaking point, so what was more? But to lighten the situation a little bit she added, "Maybe we should both go drunk and freak Arwen out?!" She laughed a little bit. She hoped that Matthew would NEVER drink. She knew she couldn't forbid him not to do it, but she could warn him. She said, "You MIGHT say stupid shit though."

That day was still a complete blur. She didn't even remember HOW she got the alcohol. All she remembered was saying, "Magical Firewhiskey." And that was it. The rest she was starting to remember by what Matthew and Arwen had told her. She didn't want to remember it anyways. The only good thing that came out of it was of course, she got Matthew. But that was it. She had to embarrass herself in the process. Maybe she should've gone silent for another year, and gotten Matthew the same way she had gotten Derek. She silently laughed at the thought. She would never go silent again, and wouldn't drink alcohol again for a very long time.

"Did you get the house elves to make all this?" Matthew asked Ari happily as she started pulling out all the food. He leaned forward to help, beaming as he found a bottle of butterbeer. "Here," Matthew said, handing it to Ari before digging for another one for himself. "It's awesome up here, isn't it? I love being so high up." The astronomy tower had always been one of Matthew's favorite places. "The first time I came up here, I met Arwen, you know. I was looking for Derek, and I followed her because I thought she'd lead me to Ravenclaw tower. But she was lost too." Matthew laughed at the memory. "You know, it's weird isn't it? It hardly seems long ago, but we've been here for five years." Five years was a long time. It hardly felt like one. And Matthew wasn't sure exactly how he felt about it. It was like yesterday that the sorting hat had fallen over his eyes and called out Slytherin, and now he was sitting on a blanket in the astronomy tower having a surprise lunch with his girlfriend like it was no big deal.

Matthew grinned at Ari. She didn't know what she was doing half the time. "Well, lucky for you, I do. You spent ten percent of the time singing obnoxiously - which isn't much different from any other day - and the other ninety petting Arwen's hair." Matthew's tone was joking, but his smile softened a bit at the look on Ari's face. "Holy shit, Ari, relax," he said, reaching for her hand. "Nobody's upset with you, it wasn't even a big deal - you worry too much." Because she was definitely worrying. Matthew could see it in her face. "I mean, you didn't do any damage to anything, or get in trouble - if it were me, I probably would've set the quidditch pitch on fire by accident. Or at least one of the trees by the lake - probably Ollie's favorite one, and then he'd disown me as a brother." Still, Matthew definitely wanted to try firewhiskey, because it still had the word fire in the name, and he'd have to try it at leas once. But Ari had deterred him from it for a while. Matthew laughed, but shook his head. "Poor Arwen. I don't think I could even do that to her."

Matthew felt his stomach rumble a bit and remembered that he was starving and there was food. Reaching for a sandwich, he didn't hesitate before biting into it. He was pretty sure it would only take him a minute or two to devour it, but after the first bite, he made an effort to not eat like a starving caveman. His mum had told him that he didn't chew enough apparently, and that it was bad for him to eat without chewing exactly thirty times every bite. His mum was mental. "Christmas break isn't too far away now," he said between bites. "Er - I talked to mum yesterday. She said you're welcome for Christmas dinner, if your family isn't having anything." Matthew was never so sure about Ari's family. They were there - she lived with them. But the terms she was on with them varied, depending on the day, the mood, and what country her Aunt Evelyn was in at that particular moment. "You don't have to," he added quickly. "You aren't gonna make me watch Frozen again, are you?" he added, his voice doubtful. That was one nice thing about being at Hogwarts - Ari couldn't make him watch anything because electronics didn't work in the castle.

Ari nodded and said, "Yeah, it took some persuading, but I got them to make everything! They really are nice little elves. I wish Professor Simpson wasn't such a dick head about them. I'll have to write a strongly worded letter about that to the Headmaster." Ari was of course talking about Professor Landry Simpson who on his first Care of Magical Creatures lesson, took them down to the kitchens to "observe the house elves." Ari had been pissed off and walked out of the lesson refusing to ever take one of his classes ever again. Of course, Derek had been there making it ten times more awkward than it needed to be. And when Matthew mentioned Derek, she looked up. It was weird hearing her current boyfriend, say her ex-boyfriends name. The fact that they were friends was even more weird. She wouldn't say anything about it of course. Ari wasn't going to be one of those over protective non trusting girlfriends who made their boyfriends break off relationships because she didn't care for the person.

Ari calmed down a little bit. She was being over dramatic about the whole "her being drunk" situation. But didn't she have every right to be? She had messed up big time, and she was worried for her relationship with a certain some one, because well... it was him. Of course, she was worried that she had hurt Arwen's feelings, because apparently her hair was a cat, and she liked to pet it and told her it was broken. So she finally decided to accept her stupidity. She asked, "I actually thought Arwen's hair was a broken cat?" She laughed a little. She asked mainly to herself, "I wonder how much I actually drank... But no, you won't have to deal with that for a while anyways." She was honestly sincere about it. It wasn't even that good. Alright, she admitted, that it was amazing, but she wouldn't say it out loud. It wasn't like she was going to become an alcoholic and drink every night forcing Matthew to fix all her mistakes. That would just be unfair.

At the mention of Ollie, Ari got curious. She wondered how they where doing. Matthew, being in the kind of same situation as she and Aunt Evelyn where, knew how Matthew felt about Ollie abandoning him and leaving him. She asked, "So.. How is Ollie? I mean, have you told him about our current relationship status?" They hadn't actually talked about it, or made it official. Ari just assumed since they kissed, and that Matthew was spending more time with her than normal, and holding her hand and stuff, that they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Ari knew that Ollie didn't care for her. So it would be fun to see his reaction when/if Matthew told Ollie that they were together.

She was honestly worried about Derek. She hadn't seen or heard about him in a while and it was a little strange. She asked, "Speaking of. How is Derek? I haven't seen or heard from him in ages...He's probably avoiding me though. I don't blame him there either. He probably hates me." She hadn't exactly left him on good terms. She thought it was funny how one person could seem so great before hand, and then the relationship status changes, and everything seems different just for one person. It had happened to her and Derek. He had fallen head over heals for her, and she knew that, and still broke his heart. She thought that her and Derek's relationship had been a big giant mistake, just to add to her list. She had hoped that Matthew would've fought harder or something to make her speak again. And when Derek did instead, she had jumped at the chance to feeling wanted and loved. And it had obviously backfired.

The talk of Christmas was a sore topic for her. She had already written her parents, and Aunt Evelyn. Her parents where going on some business trip in America for the Holidays, and Aunt Evelyn would be in England with her new husband. They usually stayed in Ireland for the holidays for some weird reason Ari never questioned. But now that everyone was going all over the place, Ari was just going to stay at Hogwarts over break. Since Matthew had offered for her to come to his place, it worked out perfect. Now she wouldn't be bored and alone. She said, "Actually I was just planning to stay here, because mum and dad are going to America for a business meeting, and Aunt Evelyn is going with her new husband to England to spend time with his family. I can if you want me too... I don't want to be too much trouble or get in the way."

That's what it felt like when she spent Christmas with her family. Her parents always threw this huge gala party for their colleagues and she always felt like she was getting in the way. Aunt Evelyn always made it like a game. She was going to be playing Cinderella, and Aunt Evelyn would be her "prince charming" and whisk her away making it fun for her when her parents ignored her. It was always fun with Aunt Evelyn, but now that Aunt Evelyn was married, Ari realized that she had bigger priorities. And Ari now understood that her parents would always put work before her. She hoped that deep down her parents did love and care for her. But when they didn't put work aside when she went silent for an entire summer, she had her doubts. Matthew was the only person who went out of his way to make her feel special, and important. And really, that was all she wanted from her parents. She didn't think that was too much to ask. But apparently it was.

”I don’t see why you’re so upset over that,” Matthew told Ari, reaching for a sandwich from the pile of food. ”I mean, they’re going to be there cooking anyway – we were just watching them. They probably liked the company.” Houses elves were pretty freaking weird, though Matthew would never say that out loud to Ari, because she seemed to love them. It wasn’t that Matthew didn’t like them, as they made all of the Hogwarts food and he couldn’t possibly dislike that. But they were just so annoyingly helpful all the time, which was probably why Ari liked them. Because they probably doted on her the moment she walked through the door, and Aril loved knowing that people wanted to be around her. And the house elves liked to dote on people, so there was nothing wrong with that, really. ”And yes – you were pretty upset about it, actually,” Matthew told her, laughing. ”Don’t worry,  I don’t think she was mad at you. Though, you might want to pick someone else next time, being that Arwen’s – well, Arwen.”

Surprisingly, Ollie wasn’t the last person that Matthew wanted to talk about anymore. So, maybe, that meant that he and his brother were finally back on normal terms. Or, new normal terms. The kind where Matthew didn’t hate him, but also didn’t follow him around like a lost puppy needing his approval for every little thing. ”Ollie’s good – me and Ollie are good, too, I guess, even though he’s still a git.” But maybe Matthew had also overreacted when his brother had gone to Durmstrang. Maybe. But he’d never admit it out loud – despite how obvious it was. At the next part of Ari’s question though, Matthew glanced up at her, looking at her a bit inquisitively. ”I didn’t tell him. I might have…” he replied, hesitating. ”If, uh – if I knew what it was myself,” he admitted, looking down at the blanket uncertainly. Because Matthew wasn’t exactly an expert in any of this shit, and neither of them had actually agreed that they were actually a real couple out loud. ”So uh, whatis our relationship status?” he asked her. ”You know – just for future reference.”

Derek. Was Matthew supposed to dislike Derek now? Because Derek had dated Ari? In the movies, that was usually what happened. But when Derek had been with Ari, Matthew honestly hadn’t cared. He tried looking back on it now to see if he cared, but still found that the idea just really didn’t seem to bother him. In the end, he decided that he just hadn’t sorted out everything in his own mind enough yet to feel any real jealousy. He didn’t even know if they were technically together, he and Ari. But now that he thought about it, Derek hadn’t spoken to him in ages either. ”I’m not sure,” Matthew replied, looking over at her. ”So maybe he’s mad at me, not you.” Matthew hadn’t noticed it at all really, until Ari brought it up, but now it was clear. Derek hadn’t spoken to him in ages. ”What happened that you um – you know, didn’t work out. You and Derek?” he asked her, because he suddenly realized that they’d never talked about it before and all of a sudden, he cared.

”Oh.” Matthew had really meant that she’d been invited for dinner, not for all of Christmas break. But, now that she’d said it, it wasn’t a terrible idea, and he was almost positive he could get his mum to say yes. If he told her Ari had no family to spend the holidays with, she’d have no choice. ”I mean, I’d have to ask mum about you staying the whole time. But I think I can convince her – you wouldn’t get in the way, don’t be ridiculous.” She wouldn’t. Christmas would be more fun with her there. ”But uh – I’m not gonna be able to tell mum about – you know, us? Because if I do, there’s no way she’ll let you come.” No way at all. Matthew’s mom was a bit strict. Or, more than a bit strict. ”I’ll ask her,” he assured Ari, grinning, before taking another bite out of his sandwich.

Ari didn't see why she was so upset either. She had never cared for them before. But since Professor Simpson had made zoo animals out of them, she figured it was time for somebody to take a stand. She said, "I guess, I don't mind them making food for us, like this you know? I just didn't like somebody peeking in on them like they were in a zoo or something. It seemed unfair. It would be like them coming up and watching our class. Or a big group of people with binoculars looking in on your house during family time. Just weird..." She hoped that explained a little bit of the anger she felt towards Professor Simpson. It wasn't too much to worry about, but she just felt bad for them at that moment, and wanted to lash out at somebody that wasn't Matthew. Because he didn't deserve it, and Professor Simpson was there.

Ari loved Arwen. She didn't want to hurt her feelings, as Arwen was one of the few friends she did have, that she liked. Arwen she might admit was a better person than she was, and that didn't happen very often as Ari was pretty much the best person around. So the fact that she might do something to hurt Arwen's feelings upset her. Ari said, "I'm glad she wasn't mad. I talked to her before I saw you that next day. So I kinda knew the situation I got myself into. But I'm happy your not upset with me, because I don't know what I would do without you." Ari smiled a sad little smile. It was the truth.

Ari could see quiet a change in Matthew since Ollie had left for Durmstrang. He was more independent and Ari could get a more feel of his personality. Before she had just been going off of Ollie because Matthew had been following him around and doing things Ollie wanted. Which was fine, but Ari actually wanted to get to know her best friend. Ari didn't know how to feel about Matthew not telling Ollie about their relationship... The fact that he was now questioning Ari about what it was, was scaring Ari. She didn't want to push him into something that he wasn't ready for. She said, "I don't want to do anything your not ready for.... But... I mean... What do you want to be?" She was nervous. She liked him yes. She knew that much, and he knew it. She didn't want to put labels on something she wasn't sure would last. She added, "It's up to you..." It really was. She wanted to make sure that he was ready for something because the last time, she hadn't been ready and it had ended poorly. Matthew was the most important person in her life right at that moment, and she didn't want to ruin anything between them. She said, "I just don't want to do anything that would jeopardize our friendship." Was that ok to say? She didn't know.

Ari laughed when Matthew said that Derek was mad at him and not Ari. She replied, "I'm pretty sure he hates me. We didn't end on good terms." She continued, "Well... I guess, I had been a little dramatic that summer I wasn't talking... And he helped me in ways you couldn't. You did help. Don't get me wrong. But, he actually got me talking again, and lifted my spirits. I saw him as "my savior", and I guess I got that and my feelings mixed up. When he asked me out I automatically said yes... I wasn't ready for it. I didn't know what I was doing. It was a completely new situation. On top of that, he was smothering. So I ignored him, and avoided him. It was just overall a bad situation and I wouldn't blame him if he never talked to me again, we finally mutually broke it off." She took a shakey breath. It was hard explaining that. She knew she would have to do it eventually, as it was Matthew, and everything was different now.

Ari smiled. This Christmas was looking to be better than any Christmas she had ever had. She always hated the holidays. So she hoped she could have at least one good one. Spending it with Matthew would be the best thing in the world. When he said the word us, all her worries about him not being ready, or her uncertainties vanished. She was finally able to breath at the fact that he was now her boyfriend. And really she felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have such a wonderful guy like him. She said, "Yeah, I get that. We'd have to make Ollie not say anything if you tell him though." Which she hoped he would. If Ari had a sibling she would tell him/her first thing. But knowing Ollie and Matthew's situation she knew it was a little different. She said grabbing a sandwich, "I hope they say I can come. It would be boring as hell spending Christmas here alone." And Ari hated being alone. It would be a nightmare.

Matthew snorted at the idea of somebody spying on his family’s family time. ”I don’t think they’d ever do it again if they spied on Ollie,” Matthew told her. ”He’s the weirdest person – one time I walked into his room and he was doing some kind of weird interpretive dance to some awkward music.” Seriously, Ollie really was weird. Not that Matthew wasn’t, but Ollie was far weirder. ”Is it weird being an only child?” Matthew asked. Because as much as he couldn’t stand Ollie half the time, he couldn’t imagine not having his brother around. Especially when he was little and worshipped the ground he walked on. ”I guess not for you, since you’ve always been.” Matthew had never been, and Ollie couldn’t remember being the only child because they were only two years apart. Matthew imagined it would be pretty boring, only having his parents to hang out with all the time.

”You’d be fine without me,” Matthew told her, rolling his eyes. Seriously, Ari was always so dramatic, no matter what she was doing or saying. ”You’d probably have found someone to hang out with who loves Disney as much as you do – honestly, I’m not sure how I even made the cut, considering how much I can’t stand it.” Though, Matthew would never, ever admit to Ari that he’d caught himself humming Let it Go more than once after that day she made him watch it. He was glad that electronics didn’t work at Hogwarts, because he was pretty sure he’d be forced to sit through far too many movie marathons with Ari if it did.

Oh, shit. Matthew hadn’t meant to worry her, and he could see instantly on her face that he had. ”Relax,” he said instantly, his voice light. ”I didn’t mean – I wasn’t trying to say I don’t want – “ Matthew really needed to learn how to finish a complete thought when he was rambling. ”I just mean that I’m not good at this,” he said finally, looking down at the blanket. ”And I mean that it would feel weird to ask you to be my girlfriend or whatever, because I think we’re already past that point, but at the same time we’ve never talked about it so I don’t know for sure, and I don’t want to do anything that I’m not supposed to do.” Matthew had to stop to take a breath after he’d finished, having said everything a bit too quickly. When Ari spoke again, he glanced over at her, already shaking his head. ”I told you I’m not going anywhere, didn’t I?” he said to her. ”And I’m not, even if this doesn’t work out.”

Matthew listened more attentively than he usually would as Ari talked about what had happened between her and Derek, and he got the feeling that it was something she’d needed to say out loud to someone for a while. Maybe she’d just had nobody to say it to. ”Yeah, well, it’s no secret that I wasn’t the greatest friend,” he told her apologetically. ”I was too busy being moody about the fact that Ollie had left – I don’t even know why I cared, now.” Because now, he understood that his brother was a bit of a git. ”But I’m sure Derek will talk to you again – eventually. If you want him to. He’s probably just still upset over it.” For some reason, Matthew felt a bit of relief that she’d never really liked Derek to begin with. It should have been Matthew helping Ari through everything, but he wasn’t in the right mindset then. It struck him again how much he’d grown up in the past year.

”I’ll tell him,” Matthew told her, though he was truthfully a bit reluctant to talk about Ari with his brother. ”It isn’t that I don’t want to because of you, it’s more because of Ollie.” He really hoped Ollie would just accept it and not try to pry for details or give Matthew advice. ”I’ll make sure he doesn’t say anything to mum – at least not until after Christmas.”  It was crazy to think that last year, Matthew would have completely shunned the idea of spending all of Christmas with Ari. Though, he supposed she’d grown up just as much as he had. They were both different now. ”I’m sure she’ll let you come. All I have to do is tell her you have no place else to go, and she’ll invite you herself.”

Finishing the last bite of his sandwich, Matthew decided he needed to stand up for a minute – they’d been sitting for a while. ”I love it up here, you know,” he told her, pulling himself to his feet and crossing over to the nearest railing. He put both hands on the top rail and leaned out over, grinning at the view.

Is it weird being an only child? Ari had never thought about it before. She had secretly hoped that her parents would tell her one day that she were to have a brother or sister, but sadly that hasn't happened yet. And on the other hand, they were too work oriented to have another child, or even care for the one they had. She replied, "No. It does get lonely though... Sometimes I wish I had somebody to talk too 24/7 like you do. At the same time, I wish my parents wouldn't have another kid because they barley pay attention to the one they do have." She looked down afraid to show her feelings for some reason. Family was a touchy subject for her. She didn't like the family she did have and yet she wouldn't change it for the world. She liked the freedom she did have, and the fact that everyone at some point would have to pay attention to ONLY her. She liked to feel important every once in a while, because, well, she was.

Ari was doubting Matthew's next statement. You would be fine without me... Did she not prove that she NEEDED him in her life? She would be miserable. Without him, her life seemed pointless. It seemed like he was the only one who could keep her stable. The only one who could calm her down when she panicked, which happened quiet a lot and she was thankful for that because otherwise she didn't know where she would be at that moment. She probably would've died without him. She laughed at his next statement about Disney. She didn't think anybody would love Disney as much as she did. And if they did, well, challenge accepted. She would make them have a war with her to prove that she loved Disney more than they did. She replied, "There's more to you than the fact that you don't like Disney that I liked. So I think that outweighed it." She smiled.

Ari said, "I'm not good at it either. Let's take it by ear? Not move so fast?" That sounded good to Ari. She wanted things to be different with Matthew. Because he was different than Derek. Different in so many special ways. She couldn't explain it to him, and probably never will, unless she ended up in a dire situation to where she was dying or something. His words were comforting. She knew she could count on him to be the one person who would always be there for her. And that meant the world to her. She was worried if they didn't work out. What would happen? He said they would be fine. That he would still be there for her. But would it end up like her and Derek? Would she really be alone? She didn't say it out loud, because she had already flipped out at Matthew more than once already, and she felt a little bad. Ari replied, "I'm not really sure what you're supposed to do either honestly. I this will be new for both of us." Derek hadn't exactly been her "boyfriend" considering the amount of time she spent avoiding him.

They were past the point of him asking her, or her asking him, as he had said. They were officially unofficial. She smiled and leaned into him. She said, "You can do this if you want." She took his arm and placed it around her shoulders snuggling into him more. It felt right. He started talking about that terrible month they went avoiding each other and not being the best of friends. She said, "It's okay. I know you were going through a lot, and I should've been there for you as well. So, don't go blaming yourself." She honestly wouldn't care if Derek ever talked to her again. He was a bit of a git honestly what with his usage of big words and his thoughts of wanting to outsmart people by using them. He made her feel stupid most of the time.

Now that she had someplace to go over Christmas break, Ari felt a little more relaxed in Matthew's arms. She felt more at peace and everything that she had been worrying about seemed to vanish. He got up and moved to the railing of the Astronomy tower. She wasn't a fan of heights, but she followed suit. She knew now that she was safe with him no matter what. The ground seemed so far away from up here, but the view was beautiful. She nodded and said, "Yes it is beautiful." And right then and there, everything made sense.