Lonely (Open)

Lyra had been doing her best to avoid people altogether, and it was going alright. Obviously there were the inevitable meetings, like having Ariel in the same dorm as her, and classes, but it didn’t mean she actually had to interact. And classes, she had hardly turned up to anyway. Charms had been the extent of her learning so far. Maybe she would start going to more soon, but for now it just wasn’t worth it. Once classes were over, she had been stuck on where to go. Students would be everywhere. But then she remembered that wonderful little hut out in the grounds. Wonderful because nobody went there. Which meant she could probably be alone.

It was sort of wonderful in other ways, she supposed. It was pretty and comfortable inside, with nice furniture and a cosy atmosphere. Once she’d finished the long walk from the castle to the hut, freezing cold the whole time, she took a seat in an armchair and pointed her wand at the fireplace to warm the place up a bit.

Hogwarts had been miserable so far. She had decided that it would be better than home, since there were no memories of Jack associated with it, but everything sparked the memories now. The fireplace made her think of Christmas at home, with them crowded in the living room exchanging gifts. This armchair made her think of the one Jack would usually sit in. That table made her think of the one in the kitchen, where they would eat scrambled eggs. It was that simple, and Lyra felt horrible every single minute of the day. And she was still unable to shake the feeling of guilt, that he was dead and she was alive, and she had practically killed him herself.

She swallowed. Why had she bothered to come here? Silence left room for thoughts. She took a book out of her bag and tried to start reading in the hope that it would distract her from… everything. It didn’t work. Nothing worked. Because she was stuck here, regretting everything, and wishing that there was something, anything that she could do to get Jack back. She was lonely because he was gone, and nobody understood how it felt. People who said you got over the loss of a loved one eventually obviously had never experienced the loss of a loved one. She would never, ever get over this.