Was it just a kiss (Humphrey)

Dakota sat in the library with her mind on only one thing. Well, one person, actually. Humphrey Williams, to be exact. She just couldn't get him out of her head no matter how hard she tried. Those warm, soft lips pressed against her own. It was amazing. She had never kissed a boy before, but she was glad her first kiss had been with her now best friend. Then again, he was her only friend. But her best friend none the less.

She sighed and looked up at the glass ceiling above her head. She enjoyed coming to the library and just sitting in the chairs. Sometimes, she would spend hours just staring up at the ceiling and into the sky. She would see birds and other creatures fly by. One time, she saw a Hippogriff fly by who hovered over the glass and just stared at her

It had been an interesting afternoon because of that. Other times she would see students flying off on brooms or just birds go by the glass, sometimes they would even slam right into it. Birds were stupid. Her thoughts wandered back to her new blonde friend and she smiled. She wished he were there with her now, holding her in his arms once again.

Humphrey went about his day to day life in a daze, his thoughts still full of the evening with Dakota. He'd had his first kiss, and been so stunned he hadn't even kissed her back. Was it an accident, or did she really like him? To be honest, he'd never thought about anybody like 'that' before. At the same time though, he really liked Dakota, and maybe...one day...they could be something more. Everything had happened so fast though, that he wasn't really sure what he felt for her. As a friend, even a best friend, was a definite, but as a girlfriend...he simply didn't know. Hopefully when he saw her again they would be able to talk and figure it out together.

Walking into the library, the place he always went to distract himself and to think, he stood stock-still, shocked to see Dakota sitting in a chair staring at the ceiling. She hadn't seen him yet, and for a split second he considered turning and walking away before she saw him. Looking at her, though, made him think of how wonderful it felt to hold her close to him. How silky her hair felt when he ran his fingers through it, and the confusing feelings the kiss had stirred inside him. Quietly walking over, he picked out a book on the shelf before sneaking up behind her. Covering her eyes with his hands from behind, he whispered in her ear, "Guess who?"

Dakota jumped when someone covered her eyes with their hands. She growled and reached for her wand when she heard the strangers voice. A small smile spread across her face, “Humphrey!” She whisper yelled and giggled. She grabbed his hands and lowered them from her eyes to show she was smiling even with her eyes.

She stood up and wrapped her arms around him in a bear hug. She inhaled his scent and smiled. He still smelled like honey and the forest mixed with a bit of old parchment. Her favorite scents. She smiled nad moved her hair over her shoulder. She had changed her shampoo last night to mixed berry and wondered if he noticed.

She moved to the couch and dragged him along with her to sit beside her. She had been thinking about him non stop and decided to let him know so, “I have been thinking about you all day, you know.” A blush crept along her cheeks and she chewed on the inside of her cheek. She rested a hand on top of his and leaned against his arm, hoping he would hold her as he did the night before. “And about the kiss…” She wasnt sure what he felt about the kiss. She wasnt even sure what she felt about it.

When Dakota reached for her wand Humphrey started to get nervous, because he had no doubt she knew a good hex or two. Luckily for him, she recognized his voice and he laughed a little as well before trying to quiet down a little, it was a library after all. "Hello Miss Rose." he whispered back, giving a small bow to her. He could see that she was equally happy as he was to see her, which was a relief to him. To be honest he wasn't sure how she would react to seeing him after what had happened. Trusting people had never come easy to him, and even after only a night she already knew more about him than most anybody.

Humphrey hugged her back, and the sweet smell of a fruity shampoo on her. Different from when he'd first hugged her, but still nice. For himself he always used a body wash that was scented with honey, and a rainforest shampoo that always smelled refreshing to him. Didn't use them for any real reason other than that he liked them, which was what mattered after all. He'd never understood some boys who didn't like taking baths or showers because personally he liked being clean.

Letting Dakota drag him along, he took a seat next to her on the couch and waited for the ball to drop. This is it, they were going to talk about what happened. The boy could almost feel it coming. "I've been thinking a lot about what happened, too. You as well, of course." he said, blushing as much and maybe a little more than she was. Humphrey didn't pull his hand away when hers touched his, but he didn't squeeze back yet either. "That was...nice. But, also unexpected. It's not that I don't like you Dakota because I truly do, but...could we slow down a little?" he asked, his eyes pleading with her. "Don't want to rush something, because you are the best friend I have here..." he said quietly, nervous she would hate him now. He wouldn't be surprised if she did, but he wasn't ready for a girlfriend quite yet. Looking into her eyes, he then gave her hand a light squeeze to let her know he still cared. "You do understand I care about you though, right?" he asked, to make sure she knew.

Dakota smiled and noticed he didn’t squeeze her hand like he had multiple times the night before. Had she done something wrong? Had the kiss ruined their friendship? She sure hoped not. Then again, the kiss had been really weird. She was only 11 after all. What did she know about liking boys? But when she was with Humphrey, she felt all giggly and happy inside. That was a good thing right? If it wasn’t, she didn’t know what was.

She rested her head on his chest and just inhaled his scent over and over until she was practically high off of its deliciousness. There were other boys who refused to bathe and she absolutely hated that. Humphy didn’t seem like that kind of guy.

When he said he ahd been thinking about the other night she nodded and smiled, “I have too.” She was about to say more, but he continued speaking. When he mentioned slowing down she looked at him confused. He just said he liked her and then he said he wanted to slow down? What did that even mean. “Did I do something wrong?” Then he said she was her best friend. Her head was spinning with confusion. She didn’t understand what was going on.

Tears formed in her eyes and a head ache formed in her brain. He squoze her hand and she pulled it away. “You say you care about me but you do this?” A single tear fell and she didn’t bother to wipe it away. She just curled up in a ball and let her tears fall as she held her head.

Humphrey hated that he could see confusion in her eyes when he didn't take her hand back right away. It killed him to see that, but he needed to let her know how he felt. That in spite of liking her, he needed a little more time before jumping into anything. The worst part is, he could see them being together in the future. Part of the reason he wanted to slow things down was so that it wouldn't jeopardize any chance of a future relationship by rushing into one now, when he knew that at least for him he wasn't mature enough to handle it yet.

"No, you haven't done anything wrong Dakota. I'm just...still coming to terms with possibly liking a girl that way. Not ready to jump into something when this is all so new to me. Does that make any sense at all?" Humphrey suspected he was doing a terrible job of explaining himself. All he wanted to do was hug her and let her know it would be okay. But, he knew it wouldn't be fair for him to do that to her. Where this went from here was up to her really, he wanted to be friends. The question was, would she?

Heaving a sigh, Humphrey slumped against the couch and buried his head in his hands. It was all he could do not to start crying with her, it tore him apart to see her hurting so much. "It's because I care that I am doing this. What would happen if we rushed into this now, and it didn't work out? Most likely we wouldn't be friends if that happened, right?" he asked, a little angry and upset, near tears just like she was. He was doing the best he could, and he hoped she could see that. "I do think that we could be together, but I'm not mature enough yet Dakota. Please, please believe me, I do like you that way too, I swear. Just, I'm not ready." he said, biting his lip and holding his breath while he waited for her to answer. The wait felt like a lifetime, and his chest started to hurt a little from holding his breath, but he was too nervous to breathe normally. A pin drop would sound like thunder in the silence between them.

Dakota didn’t know what to do or say. She wanted to be alone. But she also wanted to be in his arms. She clenched her eyes shut tight and whimpered slightly as more tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She dug her finger nails into her thighs and flinched at the pain she felt then.

She looked up at him when he began to speak. It did make sense. She didn’t like it, but it made sense none the less. She leaned against him as tears fell from her eyes and onto his shirt. She could tell her was trying not to cry. “What about what I want, Humphy? What I wanted was you. Does that not matter, anymore?” She stood up and paced a bit before sitting back down.

When he sunk deeper into the couch she nuzzled into him protectively, she hated seeing him so upset. It hurt her both emotionally and physically. “We will always be friends.” She moved his hands away from his face so she could look into his eyes. “I will always be your friend and I will always be here for you.” She smiled softly when he said he wanted to be with her. That made her genuinely happy.  

Humphrey saw Dakota dig her nails into her leg, and noted the flinch too. Grounding herself with pain, it was a tactic he'd used before when dealing with bullies. Sometimes if you were hurting a little it made it easier to stay strong. Seeing her do that because of him though, well it made him want to take back everything he'd said. To run away with her to a quiet place and rock her until she stopped crying. Tell her he would always be there for her, because he wanted to be.

Wrapping an arm around her, he gave her a light squeeze. He could see that she understood where he was coming from, as much as it pained her. "Of course it matters to me what you want, Dakota. I want you, too. But I need time to come to terms with these feelings. I've never even looked at a girl twice before I met you. Trying to go step by step, not all at once though. Do you think you could live with that? You don't....don't hate me, do you?" he asked, tears threatening to spill over again as he saw her pace back and forth. What was she thinking? It was killing him not knowing, but he wouldn't rush her. The least he could do was give her time to come up with her response.

Instinctively, he snuggled back against her. "I hope so, I've never met someone like you. Don't think I'd ever meet someone as special again." Humphrey told her honestly, and looked into her eyes when she moved her hands. "You can always count on me, too. And maybe when we're a little more mature...we could try for something...more, yeah?" he asked, hoping she would agree. It would kill him if he'd blown his only chance with her, but he would understand if she would not give him another chance like this one.

Dakota nodded at his words. She wasn’t mad at him. She was mad at herself for falling for him. She didn’t even know what she felt for him and he had her crying her eyes out. What did that even mean? She just hid her face in his chest and sighed as she breathed in his calming scent. His smell seemed to do the trick and she was calm.

When he asked if she could live with his terms she stopped to think for a moment. There was a possibility of them in the future. That made her happy. But how long in the future? A year? Two years? Three? “How long do we have to wait?” She needed to know how long of a wait she was looking at. When he asked if she hated him she laughed and kissed his cheek, "I could never hate you."

She saw his tears threatening to fall and she kneeled down in front of him. She grabbed his face and looked him in the eyes. She brushed his tears away and kissed his nose in a friendly amnor. Just to show she was there for him and that she cared for him just as much as he did for her. “I will wait. I will wait for you no matter how long it takes.”

Humphrey held her as they both tried to calm down. It wasn't only her that was emotional, he was as well. He wanted them to be friends of the closest kind, and he hoped that one day he would be able to give her what she wanted and try a relationship. This feeling of caring so deeply for a girl he'd recently had him a little scared and nervous, but he didn't want that to come in the way of who could quite possibly be the only friend he really had here at the school.

"Umm, I don't know for certain Dakota. I am guessing maybe one to two years, though. Usually guys and girls start hitting puberty around thirteen or fourteen from what I've read." Humphrey told her, only knowing what he'd learned in muggle health class. Hopefully what he remembered was right, it had been a while since he'd read about it.

Looking deeply into the girl's eyes, Humphrey saw comfort and compassion in them. His eyes crinkled in a smile as she kissed his nose and he hugged her. "Thank you Dakota, thank you so much. I promise that when I feel I am ready to, I will give you and I dating all I've got. Because, I know we just met, but I do care about you a lot Kota. That's not something I would say to just anyone, either." he said with a nervous laugh.

Dakota sighed when he said they would have to wait a year or two. She didn’t want to wait that long. She didn’t know why, but she wanted to be able to hold his hand as she walked down the hall. She wanted to kiss his cheek and be able to say that he was hers.

She didn’t know where all those grown up feelings were coming from, but she felt them for her best friend. “Im willing to wait, for you, I would wait a life time.” She meant every word that she said to him. She held out her pinky and smiled, “Do you, Humphrey Williams, Pinky promise promise me that when we are ready, we will try dating?”

She smiled and looked at him. She hugged him tight and laughed. “Of course Humphrey. I care about you too. You are one of my best friends.” She looked up at the ceiling and saw a Hippogriff watching them. She laughed and waved at the winged creature. “Hello Hippo.” Hippo the Hippogriff often came to see Dakota when she was in the library. She saw the creature as her friend. She smiled and laughed as he squaked and flew off into the sky.

The girl's sigh let him know that what he was requesting was a lot to ask, which was painful for him to know. But, he had a feeling that if they did this it would be healthier for them in the long run. Perhaps it was simply him being too cautious; but, he didn't want to get his heart broken. Because the thing was, he could already picture what falling for Dakota would be like. It would be amazing, and beautiful, but it was also terrifying to him. What if she realized that she could do so much better than him? He had a feeling that she might one day, and that by the time he was ready she wouldn't want him. Those thoughts though, he kept to himself. Fears always seemed more real when spoken aloud.

"I believe you, Dakota Rose." Humphrey told her, staring deeply into his beautiful eyes. Her eyes were ones he could so easily lose himself in, but before he could she raised up her pink and smiled cutely at him. "I, Humphrey Williams, do so pinky promise that I will try dating Dakota Rose, when we are both ready." he said, feeling like a little kid again and loving it as he locked pinkies with hers and shook on it. "Now you're stuck with a total goof for a future boyfriend. Thought you should know." he said, laughing softly at her predicament.

Humphrey hugged her back, feeling so much more relaxed than he had before. After breathing her scent in, he reluctantly let go of her and gave her a smile. "One of? Who else are you best friends with?" he asked curiously. Following her gaze upward, he saw a magnificent Hippogriff staring down at them, more actually, at Dakota. The nickname made him laugh loudly before he stifled it with a hand, remembering he was in the library. "Hippo the Hippogriff, please tell me you're not the one who came up with that name?" he pleaded, teasing a little but also slightly serious because it was very unoriginal if she had.

“A total goof that I wouldn’t change for anything.” She smiled and kissed his cheek before lying down, her head in his lap. She really did like Humphrey. She liked how he made her smile, how he made her laugh, how he made her feel inside. She loved it.

She sat up and tackled him as she giggled uncontrollably. They fell off the couch and she laughed. She pinned him to the floor and laughed, “I win.” She kissed his nose and smiled down at him. She nuzzled into him for a short while before jumping up to her feet.

She pushed her hair back and took off her jacket as it was getting rather warm. “Im also best friends with my Aunt Lucinda. She is the one who raised me until I turned 10. Then I went with my parents. I miss her a lot. I don’t get to see her much lately. I wish I still lived with her instead of the spawns of satan.”

She sighed and glared when he laughed at Hippos name. “Yes I did name him. Whats wrong with the name Hippo?” She frowned and looked down at her legs as she dug her fignersnails into her legs, this time drawing a bit of blood.

Humphrey blushed a little at her comment and even more at the kiss on the cheek. When she laid her head in his lap though, he moved it back up to his shoulder and stroked her hair a little. He wanted her to feel comfortable with him, but he also didn't want to do things that made him think about them dating, at least not for now. And when she was laying her head on his lap and he was looking down into her eyes, that was all he could think about. "Well, that's a relief. Because I don't plan on it!" he said with a laugh.

The breath got knocked out of him an oomph when she tackled him, but he recovered and laughed when she told him she had won. "What exactly is it you won?" he asked, curious. He smiled back up at her and stood up and sat back down on the couch when she got off of him. It always helped to be on a comfortable couch, he always thought.

Listening as she told him about her aunt, Humphrey found himself glad that she got along with at least one person she was related to. "I'm sorry you don't get to see her as much now. But at least you have her to write to about things when you get lonely, right? Plus you can always write to me, too, if you want." he offered. "You can whine as much as you want about your parents and I won't mind." Humphrey assured her with a small smile. It would be nice to get letters from his best friend.

Humphrey gulped nervously when she glared at him, and found himself very glad that she usually liked him. "Well, it's just...you literally just cut off griff. Usually when I like to name things I think of weird ones. Like my stuffed dog Beauregard." he explained. This time he noticed the girl's frown, and when he looked at her he saw her fingernails digging into her legs, letting out a gasp when he did. Pulling her hand away and holding it in his own, he clung to it. Tears started to form in his eyes when he thought about the pain that would cause, and he felt protective of her. "Dakota, how long have you been doing that?" he asked, but before she could respond he found himself hugging her, his tears falling into her hair. It was sad that a nice girl like her would dislike herself enough to do that, it was painful to think about.

Dakota growled softly when he moved her head. She had been quite comfortable and he just made her move. But whatever, she just shrugged it off and played with his shirt sleeve as she leaned against him. She sighed and then giggled when he said he didn’t plan on changing. “Good, because I love you just the way you are.” She meant love in a best friend kind of way, but she was pretty sure he knew that, so she felt no need to actually say it out loud.

When she asked what she won, she had to think for a moment. “I won the satisfaction of being able to pin you. It means I am stronger than you.” She stuck out her tongue and giggled as they sat back on the couch in the same position they were in before. Him playing with her hair, her head on his arm, and her fingers on his sleeve.

She growled at his next words, she felt as if he were making fun of her. When he pulled her nails away from her skin she looked up at him and saw tears in her eyes, “Since I was about 5 years old, I guess.” She hugged him back and felt a wetness fal on top of her head. His tears.

She reached up and wiped is tears away. “No… No crying. Not for me. Im not worth the tears.” She honestly felt that in her soul, she was not worth much. Not worth love, or care, or anyones tears and sadness. Especially not someone as kind and special as Humphreys tears. “Please don’t cry over me.”

Humphrey was well aware what kind of love she meant and decided not to comment on it. "That's sweet of you to say. You better not change either Miss Rose." he said softly, holding her tighter. She was the best friend he'd ever made and didn't want to lose that by both of them growing apart over the years. Some people were wonderful the way they were, and he liked Dakota just fine the way she was. As they sat together, he found it hard not to drift off to sleep, because he was quite comfortable.

Raising one eyebrow at the girl, Humphrey stuck his tongue out. "Oh please, I'm stronger than you. You just caught me off guard." he said, and promptly pinned her to prove his point before going back to the couch and curling up with her in it. Once again they were comfortable and simply enjoying each other's company as the time ticked by. Luckily for him, he didn't have anywhere to be so he could stay as long as she wanted him to.

Hearing the girl tell him that she had been doing that since the young age of five nearly broke his heart right then. What kind of life had she suffered through to cause her to start such behavior? "How about instead of doing that, next time you come talk to me? And if you need to I can give you as many hugs as you want. I don't want to see you hurting Dakota, it kills me." he whispered, holding her tight and not letting go.

Humphrey was kind of mad when she said that she wasn't worth his tears. Didn't she realize how special she was to him? "Of course you are Dakota. You're the most important person to me, of course you are worth my tears. And I won't have you thinking you aren't special...because you are. Capiche?" he asked, hoping she would get the point that he was trying to make. That he was going to stick by her, and she would have to learn how to have a friend who cared.

Dakota smiled and nodded her head, “I don’t plan to change, Humphy. I like myself the way I am. Well… at least most of the times. Sometimes Im too weak and immature to be alive…” She hadn’t realized she had said that last part out loud. He was going to be mad for saying something like that. She brace herself for the yelling about just how special she was to him and all that jazz.

When he pinned her she squeaked in surprise. “No that time you caught me by surprise.” She didn’t feel like pinning him back, so she just lied beside him and curled up in a cat like ball. She purred softly as he played with her hair. It was a very calming action.

When he suggested an alternate to causing herself harm, she hesitated. “Its something Ive been doing for 6 years. Its become a habit. I do something wrong, I hurt myself. I mess up, I hurt myself. Its hard to just stop.” She nuzzled into him and wrapped her arms around her best friend. “Im sorry Im hurting you like this.” She went to dig her nails into her leg once more, but then she stopped because she knew he would get mad.

She nodded when he said she was the most important person in his life. She smiled and hugged him tight, “You are the most important person in my life too.”

Humphrey simply held Dakota tighter when he heard her say that, letting his arms around her say all that needed to be said. "Sometimes I feel that way too, but now I have you so...I know I'll make it through." he told her with a smile, wanting to let her know that it was okay to have those feelings. That sometimes struggling was a part of life, and you had to push through it to get to the other side.

"Still think I'm stronger." he said, sticking his tongue out at her. Humphrey knew Dakota was tougher than she looked, but so was he. He smiled as she snuggled against him and continued stroking her hair, knowing that it was one of her favorite things for him to do.

"Well I understand it's not something you can just quit overnight. But perhaps we can work on it, little by little, yeah?" he asked, wanting to be of help in any way he could. Humphrey was well aware this wasn't a problem they could just wish away. It was something challenging they would have to be overcome step by step. "It's okay, Dakota. Just want you to know I'm here for you." he told her quietly, hugging her back.

"Glad to hear it, bestie." Humphrey told her, hugging back and smiling as well. He knew that with Dakota by his side, everything would turn out right.

Dakota smiled as Humphrey just held her. It made her feel safe and loved. Like if she were to die right then in that moment, she would die loved and in her best friends arms. “I have you so I know I will make it to.”

She cupped his cheek and stroked her thumb over the pale skin of his cheek bones. She felt understood and accepted with Humphrey, something she had never felt before in her life. But it felt nice. It felt nice to be understood for who you are and not have to hide things. But she was hiding stuff from him, but she wouldn’t hide it forever.

“Whatever you say.” She rolled her eyes when he said he was stronger and just pushed him playfully. When he stuck out his tongue, she snapped her teeth like she was going to bite it off and giggled. She sure did that a lot around him. Giggled. She never giggled unless Humphrey was around.

She sighed and curled up in his lap, she felt safe there. Like nothing could harm her. And if anything tried to, her would protect her. “Little by little… Whats the first step, boss?” She said with a nod of her head. “I appreciate you being here for me. No one has ever stuck by my side for that long, Im glad you are though.” She smiled and nuzzled him.